She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize