But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
