you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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