I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
