she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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