You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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