just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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