I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize