I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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