You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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