Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize