just come out here and I will go home with you...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
