youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
id be glad to
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
