OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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