So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
