I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
