i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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