Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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