I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
