what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
