KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
