i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
