dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
