..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
