I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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