Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
