Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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