do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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