I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize