I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
