It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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