I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
