ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
