My friends, they love my intelligence
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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