addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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