Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize