Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
