So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
