Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize