Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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