worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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