Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
