the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
