He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
