my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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