Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
