how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
