Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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