i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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