Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
