Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
