Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.

(319): View more from Iowa

Good thing spelling doesn't count.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.

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(804): View more from Virginia

For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...

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(360): View more from Washington

Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."

(604): View more from British Columbia

WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS

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