ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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