Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
