i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
