Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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