$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
